Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Finding my inner Maniac

Had a good... a very good day yesterday! Even though my weigh in says I am up 1 whole pound from the previous week before.

So what made yesterday so good? I'll tell you. It's because I had not one but two great workouts yesterday! I started my day with a solid 45 minute bike ride. Felt real good, no back pain issues, good pace, pouring sweat, just what I needed! Beyond the physical benefits of riding the bike this particular ride was mentally cleansing in a way. That post riding "glow" of satisfaction when you get off the bike and know that you've done something really good for yourself..... I was really missing that.

After my morning ride and shower and breakfast I went to work. Feeling good from my morning workout I had a nice little spring in my step, was very productive and the best part : I had no issues with my back! I didn't even think about it for most of the day as opposed to a few weeks ago being aware 24/7 and moving differently/slowly/carefully all the time. Great news!

So after work I went home, took a nap. When I woke up still feeling good I went to the gym and lifted weights for my chest and back. I was being careful not to put my back in a bad position where it was unsupported but I also didn't go easy on myself. I lifted heavy weights and pushed hard. Each time I did a set of weights and got through it pain free I was getting more and more mentally pumped. At some point I had to reign myself in because my inner maniac started to show up. That voice that in my head that says " You are an unstoppable machine.... Let's do so more weight..... Let's do some MORE WEIGHT.... MORE! HARDER! GRRRRRR!

I had to tell the maniac to shut up. I kind of felt like Bruce Banner fighting not to lose control and turn into the incredible hulk. My eyes started to turn green but I kept the beast at bay. But I'm not going to hold him back for long. I'm going to unleash that beast soon and when i do people better get out of his path of destruction. The maniac is hungry and frothing at the mouth, pacing back and forth like a caged animal just waiting for his opportunity. Driven, motivated, he will stop at nothing. He cant be reasoned with, he doesnt feel pity, remorse or pain.

For now he is locked up in my minds cage but I've got the key in the lock and I'm about to fucking turn it!

MMM (Maniacaly Massive Marcus)

Friday, August 6, 2010

On the mends

Hello everyone

I feel like I am getting stronger by the day! I think the only thing that is holding me back from cranking the intensity level up on a workout is the fear of re-injury from doing too much too soon. The doc says I can do whatever I can handle pain wise except for contact sports. In reality there really is no more pain, just a faint soreness. My doctor seems overly impressed with my progress and just tells me to keep moving.

I am so lucky to feel the way I do right now. I'm not 100% but I feel close to 90%!

I've started to ride the bike with a little more gusto lately! In this short hiatus from working out I can tell I've lost some of my stamina that I worked so hard to build up. I just can't go as hard for as long, but I'm sure that will change soon enough as I keep at it. I think back to March and I could only ride the bike for a whopping 5 minutes. Today I'm disappointed to stop at 30 minutes.

My new goal is to get back to that 60 minute, calorie furnace, unstoppable calorie terminating biking machine workout level!

I have been taking it pretty easy lately. Spent 5 days at a friends cottage way way up north in the wild! Cards, drinks, friends, campfires, swimming in a lake, multiple daily naps,....... Does it get any better than that? The one problem is all that food and drink when you are trying to lose weight. Oh well, I was on vacation.

There is some kind of connection between working out and eating healthy. It seemed very easy to turn down unhealthy choices when I had put forth so much effort at physical exercise, but once I stopped working out they seemed harder to resist.

Really don't know what to expect on this Mondays weigh in which will be a two week weigh in. Physically activity and nutrition was not where it should be. Probably will see a gain, just how much is the question.

I've decided that I will rest up this weekend as much as possible because on Monday I'm going to flip this weight loss switch back into the "on" position. On Monday I unleash the beast within. On Monday I'm going to be driven, intense and unstoppable!

Get primal people!


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Where is Marcus

In case any one is wondering why I haven't been posting. ...... It because I'm on vacation!

Spent some time at a friends cottage without any access to the outside world. Just the kind of unwinding, relaxing time I needed.

Back to work tomorrow.

Details to follow.... Now I need some rest.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Thats the difference in my weight from last week to this week.

Whew.. It's nice to at least stop the bleeding.

I have been back to work for 2 days now. Yesterday I was so tired when I was done I couldn't keep my eyes open, today is the same. I have gotten through the work days with a little discomfort but my back is totally getting better, I can feel that it is.

The Doc has me back to work with a note saying that I am on a trial, if I experience trouble performing my duties he will mandate more rest for me. After these first 2 days I'm sure I should be fine to stay working.

I just got to get through this week and then Ill have three days off with a long weekend to rest.

I am dying to workout with more intensity, but I'm just not there yet.

Keep pushing on


Saturday, July 24, 2010

Getting back into the Swing of things

I played golf for the first time today since the car accident. I started out pretty bad. I'm swinging a lot easier and slower then pre accident so my tempo and timing were a little off.

My first shot went about 20 feet and never got off the ground, the second shot did the same thing. Not a good start but my back was holding up and I was just glad to be outside with some good friends. I ended up with a quadruple bogey on the par 4 1st hole. YIKES!

However, I made it up for it with back to back birdies on the 2nd and 3rd holes! Now that felt really good and lifted my spirits way up! Both holes I played beautifully. I finished the front 9 with a 40 ( 5 over par ) 2 birdies, 3 pars , 3 bogeys and a quadruple bogey.

On a couple of shots, when I tried to swing a little harder, I got a little reminder of my back pain, but it wasn't crippling and disappeared as quickly as it came.

When I got done the 9 holes I felt like I could go and play the back nine as well but I talked myself into quitting at that point. I don't want to push to hard.

So I live to play another day!


Baby Steps

It's one small step for man, one MASSIVE leap for Marcus.... All right that doesn't make any sense but not much has recently.

So my back pain continues to persist but its slowly getting duller and isn't an every waking moment nightmare that it was previously... THANK YOU LORD!. I was wondering if maybe I was just getting used to the pain but no, it is definitely lessening. It's happening at a snails crawl but it is getting better.

Today I rode my bike for about 25 minutes with a little discomfort but it wasn't terrible. Nice to be back in the saddle and break a sweat for sure. It was just a very relaxed pace but pedaling is pedaling is pedaling and thats better than laying on the couch and looking at the stationary bike and feeling sad.

I've started going to the gym again too. Not lifting any free weights but just using some of the machines that support my back. It seems to be helping with my overall recovery. I'm glad I have this membership now because I have access to all this helpful stuff.

My latest visit to the doctor this afternoon went well. He is impressed with my progress and actually told me that I should play golf! WHAT??? I had to do a double take on that one. He says he wants me to keep moving it and the golf swing is a good way to do it. He cautioned me not to swing hard, to just be smooth and relaxed, and if there is any sharp pains to stop. Soooooo guess what I'm doing tomorrow! GOLFING! Actually I'm kind of scared as to what will happen. I pulled out a couple of clubs and took some easy practice swings in the back yard, maybe 10 swings total, I had no problems or discomfort while swinging, but my back did feel like it was starting to tighten up a bit afterwards. Most likely I think it's because I'm using muscles that I haven't used in a while. So tomorrow I'm just going to take it real easy, maybe just 9 holes or less.

I'll be going back to work on Monday! I'm actually looking forward to getting back to work again. Work puts me on a schedule which will help me get a routine going again.

I'll let you guys know how the back holds up during this golfing experiment.

Keep swinging people!


Monday, July 19, 2010

Going the wrong way

That's what the scale is doing... Going the wrong way....

I've gained weight in back to back weeks now. What can I do? I'm sure most of it is just water but it's killing me to see these numbers going up instead of down. I am up 4 more pounds this week. Since hurting my back I've gained 7 pounds over the last 2 weigh ins.

Now for some good news. When I woke up Sunday morning my back didn't hurt at all! I have had pain 24/7 until this moment. I lay there in my bed cautiously optimistic, slowly I slid out of bed and stood up.... No pain! I walked around the house in complete amazement, walked up and down the stairs.... No pain! My happiness was matched by my confusion, how could this be?

I didn't push my luck and try anything crazy, I was just happy to be able to move without pain. After about an hour the pain slowly crept back until my back felt just as bad as it did yesterday. While it sucks that the pain didn't stay away I am so happy for one big reason. Because the pain went away for a short time I now know that my injury is getting better and that there is a good possibility of a future without a back pain issue. That is something that has bothered me a lot over the last couple of weeks, thinking that I might have to live with the pain indefinitely.

For now I'm just hoping to feel that blissful freedom again tomorrow morning.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

Went for a walk

Walked about 2km this morning. It is a start. Still experiencing pain but I could tolerate it for a very slow paced 30 minute walk. Pain pill prescription ran out yesterday so I'm going to try things out without them for a while. I've always been of that mindset that if I'm having a pain I want to feel it and know where its coming from and what movement is causing it. Plus the possible side effects aren't worth what seems like just a slight dulling of the pain. Bleeding stomach.... Um.. No thank you.

It felt good to get outside and move but still frustrating having to go at such a slow pace and all the while my back is talking to me as each foot steps down.

So I guess I will monitor if the walking is helping or hurting or doing nothing for my back pain and proceed accordingly. I've started doing a lot of stretching which I think is helping a little bit. I think getting the blood flowing through that injured area, which I believe is the muscles and pain receptors/nerves around my lower back, is helpful to getting things healed up quicker.

The doc says I have to keep moving it so that's what I'm trying to do.


Monday, July 12, 2010

Monday Weigh in and a full nights sleep!

I finally got a full nights sleep in. Actually it was a lot more than a full night as I was in dreamland for a solid 11 hours. Man did I need that. Physically my back still hurts but mentally I am feeling much better.

Well it wasn't at all unexpected but for the first time since I started this blog I have a weight gain instead of a loss. Food wise I was good, but exercise and sleep were non existent this week. To top it all off one of the side effects for the pain killers I've been prescribed is weight gain. Hey thats just "GREAT.." (Yes, that was some Massive Marcus Sarcasm)

So I am UP 3 pounds this week. I do not like seeing that scale go the other way erasing some of the hard work that I've put in. What can I do except try to get better?

I don't like being at home like this. I look at my bike and wish that I could ride it. I went to the movies the other night with some friends just to get out of the house but I was uncomfortable in my seat and it ruined the movie for me. Remember how much I love golf? I've got all this time off work but I can't get out on the course. The golf swing is probably the worst thing I could do right now with my back. ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

It's barely been a week so I have to be patient like my doctor says.

Keep on pursuing your goals my fellow bloggers.


Saturday, July 10, 2010

It only hurts when I Breathe

Too bad I have to keep breathing. I'm not going to sugar coat it... This really really sucks. It is so frustrating. I can't do any movement without having pain in my lower back. I had to drive to the doctors office and then to the pharmacy this week, very painful to drive. Every bump, curb, twisting to check blind spots, even just steering brings the pain.

Still haven't slept well since the accident. I sleep a couple of hours and then am awake for a couple and then sleep for a couple. I am totally off kilter.

According to my doc the best thing I can do is to keep moving but obviously not do high impact stuff. He told me to do as much as I could tolerate pain wise. I tried riding my bike today, I couldn't even stay on it for 5 minutes. Just the reaching for the handle bars is too much.

So I've been taking lots of hot baths and watching tv and trying to get some sleep. It's nice to be off work but not like this.

One thing my doctor said to me is that my ability to recover will be much better then if I hadn't started losing weight and becoming much healhtier. Which I have to believe is true. If I was still almost 330 pounds with this back pain... Yikes!


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Absolute Disaster... Why Me?

Bad news, on Tuesday night I was in a pretty bad car accident. The car I was in was T-boned by a pick-up truck and I snapped violently one way as the car was sent in the opposite direction. I was wearing my seatbelt but that does little for you when the impact is from the side.

At first I felt nothing, I think I was in shock. Then my neck and back started to hurt, I was taken away from the scene on a back board and a neck restraint thing because the paradmedics were worried that I had broken my neck and or back. After spending 4 hours in the hospital it was determined that my back and neck were not broken (thank God)

I still have a lot of pain and discomfort in my neck and back. The only time it does not hurt is if I lay down with my knees bent and stay completely still. This sucks.I am unable to work or exercise and I am taking pain killers....

I can't believe this is happening to me, it's not fair.

My doctor says this could take a long while to heal. my lower back... I need to go lay down.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Another Monday weigh in!

Things are all humming along nicely. I am very happy with myself and what I've been able to accomplish up to this point. This weeks weight loss is 3 pounds.

66 pounds total weight loss so far! Amazing!

My routine is actually feeling very routine now if you know what I mean. The other day circumstances occurred that forced me to miss a work out. No big deal, life happens, but I could feel my body kinda of talking to me like " hey, I'm ready... Isn't this when we workout?... Let's go already....."

Nice to know that my body is craving the habit of exercise. I will indulge it!

I have never slept so well in my life. I fall asleep easily, no tossing and turning, it is awesome.

I am really having trouble trying to describe my overall feeling.... It's like everything is in balance, natural. I wake up refreshed, feel energized, I move easier, I am regular like clockwork in the bathroom, I feel strong, mentally sharp, happy.... Too many non scale victories to mention all of them.

I feel great through and through and there is a pride growing inside of me that is hard to contain.

I hope everyone is doing well


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Them people are crazy

By them people I mean the crazies at the gym. I think we did 1000 jumping jacks today in the kickboxing class. I feel tired after 20.

Sometimes the instructor is telling us to do push ups, the crazies are doing them with one foot in the air. They modify a lot of the workout to make it even harder. One day maybe I will be a crazy on the outside, right now I'm just a little crazy on the inside.

I feel so good after a kickboxing class but when I get home I just collapse onto the couch and usually stay there the rest of the night. It is such an energy sucking workout. I can literally feel my entire body buzzing as I sit on the couch. When I eventually get up off the couch Im moving very slowly. My legs feel like jello.... Thanks a lot jumping jacks and squats.

Keep jumping and squatting people... Your body will hate you for it, but it's for it's own good.


Monday, June 28, 2010

Monday Weigh In.

Another hard week of workouts and another good result on the scale. This morning I am down to 264 pounds with a loss of 4 pounds.

In total I have lost 63 pounds. In the two weeks since I have joined the gym I have lost 10 pounds! That makes me absolutely excited and giddy. It also reinforces that the substantial work load I am imposing on myself is getting results and progressing this transformation.

So now I stand ready, looking at the week ahead with a renewed focus and determination. I have a feeling that I have a firm grasp on my life right now, the obstacles and the journey to achieve my goals feel less and less daunting by the day! When I think forward to the challenges that lay before me I have a one word answer in my head...... CONQUER!


Saturday, June 26, 2010

Brain Droppings

Hello everyone. I have been so busy the last few weeks but not in a bad way.

I read a line today from another blogger that read something like: "The smaller you get the bigger your world gets" That really struck me as being so true. I have so many more things going on now. Instead of doing nothing except sitting my fat can on the couch and eating I have to actually decide between one event or another. It is a much more full filling life and I've still got so much weight to lose that it excites me as to how much more different, better, BIGGER my world can become.

I like lifting weights. I feel bigger (in the right places) but I don't see it in the mirror yet. Hard to explain but it's like a fullness through my chest and back and arms. The kick boxing class has made my abs sore, actually it makes a lot of things sore but I don't know if I can recall ever having sore ab muscles. At least to the point where you feel them no matter what movement you are making. It's not a crippling soreness, just a reminder that I did some intense stuff. Actually a good feeling in a way.

I've done the class 3 times now. Each time there was a different instructor. If I understand correctly the class is offered on mon, tue, thur, fri, sat and that of the 5 classes there are 3 instructors and they always do the same days. So the Monday person will always be the Monday person etc.

I've met and started speaking to some of the other "regulars" as they call it who take the classes often and they all agree that the guy I had my first class with is the toughest. I have met some nice people in that class. They are all smiley, motivating, encouraging... The complete opposite of what I expected. Actually I'm not sure what I was expecting, I guess I was expecting the worst.

The two other instructors have totally different styles then the first guy I did the class with but they are still insanely difficult. One was more cardio intense and the other one was a lot more technical with how me punched and kicked the bags, doing combinations and foot work stuff.

The staff at the front desk of the gym are starting to recognize me and some have learned my name and say "Hi Marcus!" as I walk in. I like it there, and I like how I feel after words when I've completed a hard workout.

I think I'm becoming a gym rat.....


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

That class was CRAZY!

I would of liked to have seen the look on my face when the instructor told us that we would warm up for our kick boxing class by running. What? Running?.......but I thought we would just be standing and punching the bags......

Before I could process the thought any further the whole class around me had started running laps around the class. So I jumped into the herd and started running with everyone else. Let me tell you something about these people In this class... There is aboaut 50 of them and they are very fit, very lean and I was easily the biggest most out of shape person there.

So we ran for 3 or 4 minutes before being told to stop and start doing jumping jacks, at this point my lungs are burning, I am not used to this kind of activity at all. Finally we started punching the bags, I was already exhausted, I couldn't even keep my arms up because my shoulders were on fire after about a minute of punching., I looked at the clock, we were 5 minutes into a class that is 60 minutes long! Holy crap how was I going to survive another 55 minutes?

At one point we were doing 10 pushups, followed by 10 sit ups, followed by 10 squats, followed by pushups, sit-ups, squats, push, sit, squat, push, sit, squat. Over and over and over with no rest... It was crazy, I thought I was going to die. Half the time I couldn't even do it, I had to stand there and watch other people doing it while I tried to catch my breath.

Then we did something called bur pees, they are Insane. I just wanted to lay down on the floor and rest. Lol!

On top of all of that we did a bunch of kicking and punching, the last 10 minutes of the class we did ab exercises. That class was tough.

After the class was over I walked out of the class and sat down on a bench to rest ,I felt like I was the punching bag, all beat up and abused. I sat there for a while just trying to gather myself before heading to the locker room. The instructor from the class walked out and saw me sitting there and came over to talk to me.

I told him how overwhelmed I was at the difficulty of what we were doing. He said that he thought I did great for someone my size. Even tho that was meant as a nice comment it kind of hurts when you,ve already lost almost 60 pounds. We chatted for a little while longer he was really nice and supportive. I told him I might wait till I am In better shape before trying it again. He told me that I should just keep coming and do as much as I could and rest when I need to.

To sum up the class: it was fucking hard....


Monday, June 21, 2010

The gym works

Well one week into my gym membership and I have a great result. I lost 6 pounds this week!

I am really glad to see that 6, not just because it's awesome, but because I worked so hard this week. I felt so wiped out every night and generally ached all over my body with any move I made.

Tonight I am going to try one of the classes. It's a kickboxing class where you punch and kick punching bags while an instructor barks orders at you. I am a little apprehensive and excited at the same time about the class. I have already got my boxing gloves ready in my gym bag with the rest of my stuff.

I'll let you guys know how the kick boxing class goes. I have an hour to lay down and rest before I have to leave.

Keep kicking and punching people!


Sunday, June 20, 2010

Giving It My All

Thats what I've tried to do this week at the gym, give it my all.

I'm proud to say that I have put in a great effort in my first week at the gym. We will see what Mr. Scale has to say about it tomorrow.

I don't think I have ever slept so much. It's all I can do to keep my eyes open an hour after dinner. There isn't one part of my body that hasn't felt sore this week, even my neck is sore.

Also the eating has kind of been off the charts. I ate way more this week then usual but I am also putting forth a lot more physical effort in a day.

It's only 2:30 pm and even as I type this I am nodding off at the key board. I need a nap.

I feel beat up but in a good way, actually I feel alive... tired and sleepy but alive.

Marcus Nap Now.....................................


Thursday, June 17, 2010

First couple of gym workouts

Well I got in my first couple of gym workouts on Tuesday and Wednesday. They went really well and I am really tired.

On the first day I did a lower body only workout and then upper body on the second day. I am already starting to feel sore in my legs and am expecting my upper body to follow suit soon.

Here are some things I didn't expect or wasn't prepared for with going to the gym:


I am very focused but I am a man and wasn't prepared for all the very fit and beautiful women parading around in tight workout attire. I think my neck got a pretty good workout! lol.


There are so many people at the gym around 6pm. When I signed up it was about 2pm on a Monday and much less busy. Oh well there seems to be ample cardio equipment.

All in all my experiences so far with the gym have been good ones. The staff seem really nice and there are people of all shapes and sizes and genders and ages so I don't feel out of place.

There are a lot of classes that I can try out too. A couple that have caught my eye is a cycling class and various level of swimming classes. for now though I think I got my hands full with the weight machines but I'm going to try and peek into a class when they are going on to see what they are like.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I FAILED........

After 13 weeks of making my weekly weight loss goal of 2 to 3 pounds I have failed. I did nothing differently nutrition or exercise wise compared to the last 5 or 6 weeks. The 14th week of my transformation concludes with a loss of only 1 pound. Don't worry my fellow peeps, I am not discouraged, I am not unhappy and I have been waiting for this kind of a weigh in for some time now. I am actually happy to have failed, as weird as that sounds.

I have had a plan in the works for awhile about what I would do when I stopped getting results. Frankly, I've been getting anxious because I've been looking forward to the next phase in my master plan. But week after week I had no reason to make a change because the scale was rewarding me for my dedication and perseverance to a total lifestyle change.

So what is the next phase in my master plan?

I will continue riding my bike first thing in the morning as I have been. On top of that I will add 3 to 4 days of weights at the gym. That's right... at the GYM!...the one I joined this morning! I've already had my first gym workout! Well it wasn't really a workout I just tried out about every single piece of equipment I could get my hands on.

I got to tell you folks that I am super pumped to get in there and pump some iron! The gym is about a 5 minute drive from my house, it's open 24 hours and it's kind of fancy with things like big flat screen tv's in the change room and stuff. All kinds of bikes, some with their own built in tv screens ( But I've already concluded that my bike is still the best) Treadmills, escalator machines, too much stuff to remember. In the weight room they have hand weights that go from 5 pounds to 150 pounds. Who in the world needs a 150 weight in each hand? Clyde would probably agree that Andre could use them.

Tomorrow morning I ride my bike, then go to work, then go to the gym for my first real gym workout.

I am more determined then ever.

I am unstoppable.

I am a laser beam, focused, direct and unwavering.

I am a relentless, locked and loaded, Calorie Terminator!



Saturday, June 12, 2010

I Really Enjoy Blogging

The whole blogosphere in general and the support from others trying to lose weight is awesome. I've posted before that I am really glad I stumbled upon this community. Having a bunch of people who can relate, in a personal way, to the struggles on obese person deals with is great.

The one thing that isn't so great is the amount of time blogging can eat up. It's funny that the old me, who didn't do anything except sit around all day, would have all kinds of time to blog. The new me has a lot less free time because of all the exercise and cooking.

There is also all this new found energy I have. Losing over 50 pounds has had a definite effect on my ability to sit still. I need to move, get up and out and about. That is where my golfing has really helped. A few hours walking around a golf course really helps to burn off some of that nervous energy that just wants to burst out of me some days.

I have no intention of giving up on my blog, now or in the future. I'm just trying to be as efficient as possible. It's hard thou because I love to read others blogs as well and post messages to them. And I'm constantly meeting new people and adding them to my blog roll. It's made me consider buying an Iphone or a similar device just so I can blog from anywhere... Like while I'm riding my stationary bike. That would be kind of neat, but it also might take away from the intensity of my workouts.

So far this week everything has been humming along real well. Food, exercise, golf, nice weather... no complaints!

Well in keeping with the theme of this post I'm going to end this here because I'm going golfing! Hope everyone is having a safe and happy weekend.



Monday, June 7, 2010

Monday Weigh In

Weight loss is starting to be all over the map now. Had a great week of exercise and nutrition and for my efforts the scale says I am down 2 more pounds.

My goal from the start was to lose 2 to 3 pounds per week which means: Success!

After 13 weeks a 2 to 3 pound loss would be 26 to 39 pounds. I have lost 52 which is an average of 4 pounds per week. I am completely amazed at myself.

I don't know what else to say except that I feel AWESOME!


Saturday, June 5, 2010

It's Ambitious and for a Good Cause

I signed up for a 5km run in October. The "Run for a Cure" race raises money for breast cancer research. This is something close to my heart because my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer about 18 months ago. Two surgeries and a round of chemotherapy later I'm glad to say that my mom is still here. She is an incredibly caring and sweet woman, this disease has shown me that she is also one tough lady. Never complained, was always positive..... She is my Hero!

When I signed up I thought that maybe in 4 months I will be able to run the entire 5km. Talk about ambitious, I don't run for more than a block right now. It's a run/walk kind of race so I could walk some, run some.

So for now my goal is to raise as much money as I can and to run as much of the race as is possible for me.

I don't even like running,


Friday, June 4, 2010

Sizing Down

Well I had to break down and buy some new clothes. I've been reluctant to do it because I feel like I am in a transition phase. I don't want to buy new clothes now and then have to buy new clothes again in 2 or 3 months.

I just need some stuff to get me through summer/fall and then hopefully I can buy a nicer more permanent wardrobe for winter and eventually next summer.

So "cheap" was the shopping word of the day. Enter Wallmart, I bought 3 pairs of shorts and 3 shirts for $54. The shirts fit but are a little snuggly at 2XL but I'm expecting that to change in the near future. They are just collared shirts, nothing exciting, nothing I overly like, just transitional stuff. My 4XL shirts are just way too big right now but I can wear them indoors while I work out.

2 of the 3 pairs of shorts I can go swimming in. They are all 3XL size. I've got big legs and a big but and need the room. I could put a pair of 2XL's on but they were tight and I would be uncomfortable in public.

I'm looking most forward to buying a nice pair of jeans in a 30 something size instead of a size 56 plus. I've got a pair of size 60 golf pants that are just ridiculously baggy on me right now. At my heaviest they were a roomy pair of pants so that I could comfortably go through my golf swing and not worry about them tearing when I sat down or bent over. Size 60 people!

It's awesome to have your old clothes feel all baggy and to be able to buy smaller sized clothes but at the same time I feel like I am in limbo. Like I'm just waiting to see how it all turns out.


Monday, May 31, 2010

Milestone Weigh In!

Having lost 2 pounds last week after multiple consecutive weeks of 4 pounds or more I didn't know what to expect today. I changed nothing in my diet and exercise over the last 6 weeks including this week except for a couple of days of swimming in a friends pool.

This week I lost 5 pounds! A nice round number that gets my total weight loss so far to the 50 pound mile stone! I am half way to 100 pounds, and I am 10 pounds away from the 50% mark of my 120 pound weight loss goal.

I've been riding my bike about 4 to 5 hours per week. I'd say half the time I ride steady and easy and the other half I am pushing hard. I have some weights but I haven't been doing any exercises with them. Thats something I am going to incorporate into my regime soon. Now that the weather is nice I can hopefully get some exercise outside in the fresh air too. Still considering getting an outside bike.

March weigh ins total : 14 pounds lost
April weigh ins total : 17 pounds lost
May weigh ins total : 19 pounds lost

Twelve week total : 50 pounds lost!!

Friday, May 28, 2010

A Day of BBQ and Sewing...

Weird title to todays post but that is what I did today.

If you read my last post you will know that I broke one of the pedal straps on my spinning bike. I fixed it today and that is where the sewing came in.

I should have taken a before picture. Anyways, the first picture is a close up of what I did and the second picture is a further out look of the entire strap. I stitched the two ends together and then wrapped the red material (nylon/mix/?) around it and used a sewing machine with a strong thread to make it one whole piece again. It feels nice and strong and has survived one calorie terminator bike ride... so far so good! Total repair cost $0.00.!

Hey, I told you I was industrious didn't I.

Then later I did some grilling. Some large, bone in, chicken breasts Cajun Hickory style! And some colorful roasted peppers!

That's right ladies, I can cook and sew! Guys I am a still a man, don't make me fight you!

The Double MM

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Oh No.....Broken Bike...

I went to get on the old trusty bike today. Just as I started pedaling something didn't feel right. One of the straps that hold your feet in the pedals broke. Damn it! It's just a strap so not that big a deal but I'm having trouble finding a replacement without having to purchase the entire pedal.

Oh well, I am industrious so I'll probably end up making my own workaround.

Kind of sucks because I was getting all geared up to ride before work and then I couldn't.

My calorie furnaces were all like: "YEAH LETS DO THIS!.....WAIT???...WHAT????.....F@$*!!!"

and I was all like: "I know..... sigh..."

Actually I could still ride the bike without the strap but it's not the same. I like to push down and pull up during the cycle rotation so I need my feet strapped in.

I know one thing for sure.. I've got to get this remedied fast before I get anymore fidgety from the lack of physical exertion. Wish me luck.


Wednesday, May 26, 2010


It is one of my passions. Since the weather seems to have finally turned to the warm side I've been out a couple of times so far this season. One big thing I notice is I can swing a golf club much more freely since I don't have quite as large of a belly to get in the way as compared to last season.

It's nice to be able to walk the course and feel strong from the first hole to the last instead of progressively getting slower and more tired. I've never like using a golf cart, I prefer to walk the course with my golf bag on a push cart.

I brought a pedometer with me on the course to see how many steps I take in a round of golf at the course I play most often. Just over 10,000 steps! Wow didn't think it would be that many.

I don't think golf is a really good exercise. It is exercise but for the amount of time it eats up it's not a very good use of workout time. So golf for me is a mental break. I love being out on the course with friends on a nice day. The fresh air, the quiet, the gentlemanly etiquette coupled with some good natured ribbing handed down from the Amigos when a shot is completely muffed.

I wish I had more spare time for it. I also wish I was a lot better at it. It is so satisfying when you hit a really great shot.

My golf wardrobe desperately needs updating. I've been playing in 4XL shirts. They are way to baggy right now. It's nice and loose for the swing but it does not look good.

Monday, May 24, 2010

The Streak is Over

After losing at least 4 pounds each of the last 7 weeks the streak is over. Todays weigh in showed a loss of 2 pounds.

I am not unhappy in the least by the 2 pounds. If I'm losing I'm winning.

I've been waiting for my weight loss to slow down/plateau and have a new phase of exercise and intensity planned out for when it happens. For now I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing until I only lose 2 pounds total over a period of 2 weeks.

So next week will be just like last week and the week before that until I stop getting results.

I am 2 pounds closer to my goal!


Friday, May 21, 2010

Someone Noticed!

I had a really neat experience today when I ran into a friend that I haven't seen since around January at the grocery store.

Heres how the conversation started:

Marcus: "Hey Janet hows it going?"

Janet: "Marcus!... You've lost weight!"

Marcus: "Um..ahh.. I don't know.. maybe a little"

Janet: "Don't bullshit me Marcus, you've lost quite a bit of weight."

And the conversation continued from there as we wandered around the store together.

I was so taken aback by the way she exclaimed: "Marcus!... You've lost weight!" She said it instantly and with such gusto. She never did say hello. As we talked I could see her scanning over me, kind of like she was distracted from the conversation as she measured me up.

She started looking at all the healthy stuff in my shopping cart. It's hard to play dumb about your weight loss when you have a shopping cart full of things like egg whites, spinach and cottage cheese. She said something like : "All right buddy the jig is up, look at all these vegetables you are buying" Ha ha..... We laughed and I told her about my lifestyle over the last 10 weeks and how much weight I've lost, blah, blah, blah...

It felt really, really, really nice to have someone notice like she did. Thats the highlight of this journey up to this point for me. I just about floated out of that grocery store because I felt so good.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Getting Angry with Myself ?

It seems a little silly but lately I've been getting a little angry with my success up until this point. This may seem a little confusing so bare with me here a second while I try to explain this.

I am totally thrilled with what I have accomplished up this point. I've applied all the common sense I have and all the tidbits of information that I've learned over the years from reading into this endeavor to lose weight and be healthy. So far it is working beyond my expectations, 43 pounds lost in 10 weeks, this truly makes me ecstatic.

So where does the anger come from? It comes from the thought :"Why did I wait so long to do this?"

I'm sure many who read this can relate to the daily unhappiness of being overweight. Everyday I would wake up and think about it. Self conscious at every turn in life about what others are thinking of me, saying behind my back. The sound of a snicker as I passed a group of people immediately registered in my brain that they were laughing at my fat ass. Feeling physically and emotionally unwell. I put on a brave face and socially found my way into a great circle of friends but I was always miserable on the inside.

So since it's obvious to me now that I know how to deal with this weight problem, that it's not impossible, that I have the knowledge and the drive to be successful the thing the irks me is that I didn't do this for myself 10 years ago.

My message to anyone who reads this post is to not put things off. If you are unhappy with your weight/health or something else in your life take the steps necessary to start correcting the situation NOW. Not tomorrow, not even today.. RIGHT NOW! Even just planning how you will live the rest of today is a first step to change. What are we waiting for? So many people, myself included, have to hit rock bottom before they make the necessary life changes.

Don't wait people, don't put it off, don't let it get side tracked, don't say you will start tomorrow, DON'T DENY YOURSELF THE HAPPINESS THAT YOU ALL DESERVE. Who knows how many days of life we will each be blessed with, don't waste them being unhappy. I'm not going to waste anymore time looking back with anger. Instead I will reflect and learn and live and love and laugh.

Live every day proud that your actions and decisions are positive ones. Love and treat your body like the temple housing your mind and soul that it is.... and start doing it right now!


Monday, May 17, 2010

It's Scale Time Again!

The weeks seem to be flying by now. I felt like I worked a lot harder this week then I did last week but the results are the same, but I am not complaining. I am ecstatic! Another 4 pounds lost! I am at 43 pounds lost total. Amazing, Amazing, Amazing!

I feel like I am on auto pilot. I'm just doing my thing, taking care of business, checking all the boxes, covering all the bases and it's really working!

Watching my weight fall week after week makes me all proud and giddy on the inside. The feeling is amazing and addictive. My clothes have gotten very loose, I need new clothes now but I also don't want to buy new clothes just yet because in another few months they might---- NO CORRECTION--- they "WILL" be too big again!

Kind of stuck, the weather finally seems to be warming up so I am going to need some shorts and tees. Now these are the kinds of problems I can deal with!

Hope everyone is doing good today.

Keep pedaling


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Why Isn't "No Thank You" Good enough?

I run into so many instances like I did tonight. I was at a house party for a kids birthday and everything was going good until the cake and ice cream arrived. The problem wasn't that I ate cake and ice cream the problem was that I said "No Thank You." to cake and ice cream.

Most people respond with: "are you sure?" and then I would politely respond: "yes, I'm sure, thanks" and then usually you get a: "Well theres lots so help your self if you change your mind" or some other polite response.

Today, however, when I said: "No Thanks." I got this answer: "Why not?" in a tone that said "whats wrong with you"

So I was a little taken aback but I answered: "Well you know I'm trying to lose weight and get healthy... blah, blah , blah" but this answer wasn't good enough for her. She wouldn't let it go and we ended up talking about not eating the cake and ice cream for the rest of the night.

"It's just a piece of birthday cake Marcus", "You've been doing good, you should reward yourself", "You can't deny everything all the time... You've got to live a little"

Now this is my friends wife, and I do like her, but I had to try real hard not to show how angry I was getting. I mean really why do people care what I eat? You've got to live a little??? I wanted to say thats what I'm trying to do instead of eating this crap and shortening my life.

Why isn't No Thank you good enough? Ever get one of these?: "It's just a cookie", "come on you can have one/some."They are good, try it"

I really think some people get uncomfortable when you choose to not eat the same crap they are. But why does it matter? I don't care that they are indulging. And why would anyone try to talk someone, who is trying to lose weight, into eating something like cake and ice cream? Because I should reward myself? If someone quit smoking I wouldn't tell them they should smoke a cigarette as a reward for going so many days without one.

Of course there is the other end of the spectrum where people are very supportive and go out of their way to buy fresh fruit or veggie trays or modify their dinner with things they think are healthy because they know I'm coming over. That's happened a couple of times and I have to say it's very thoughtful and makes me stronger knowing I have that kind of support.

I suppose the longer I can keep up this transformation and keep turning down these unhealthy choices the less likely I have to go through nights like tonight.

It was another victory for me turning down birthday cake with ice cream. But really this battle shouldn't of even been fought.

Okay.. I'm done ranting.


Friday, May 14, 2010

The Power of Food and the Power of the Mind

Just made a HUGE pot of turkey chili. Has all kinds of beans and vegetables in it plus a ridiculous amount of ground turkey breast. It is meaty! I like spicy food and I really put some fire into it.

Unfortunately it is so good that I had a second helping. Now I feel stuffed. Oh well, I could do way way worse than that. I see some extra bike work coming in my very very near future.

This week has gone pretty good. Been eating good and working out on schedule. The workouts have been good but I haven't had a "maniac" style, super sweaty, bike ride in a while. I might have to plan an in the dark blaster ride this weekend.

Leading up to Mothers day I went shopping with a friend of mine. He went into a chocolate store in the mall to get something for his mom and I went in with him. Now... There was no chance that I was going to get anything for myself, I'm like a bank vault, no way you get in this body you little chocolate criminals! No matter how tempting I knew that I wouldn't break, which is a pretty empowering feeling I must say!

As I walked through the store looking through the glass display at all the little evil sweets, smelling the chocolate air, reading through the price list I noticed something. It was hard not to notice to be honest. My mouth was watering. I'm talking big time watering. I was worried that if I opened my mouth to say something I would have drooled all over myself.

What power foods have over us. I mean there was honestly a zero percent chance that I would have indulged. I stood there and pondered all of this. I never had to get out of there, I didn't even feel tempted to tell you the truth but I was amazed at the physical reaction my body was having.

Too bad for you Mr. Watering mouth, because there's a new Sheriff in town! As we continued out of the store and through the mall I felt very very content with myself.

For now, I need to rest my turkey belly...

Gobble gobble


Monday, May 10, 2010

Monday Morning Weigh In

Today was my 9th Monday morning weekly weigh in. All I can say is that I am on a solid roll right now with another 4 pound loss this week! 6 0f my 9 weigh ins have been 4 pound losses, the other 3 weigh ins were an 8, a 5, and a 2.

In 9 weeks I've lost 39 pounds and I'm 9 for 9 in achieving my goal of at least a 2-3 pounds loss per week.

This week felt routine. Nutrition was excellent and exercise was somewhere between good and great. I had a couple of late nights this week because of work and it effected my workout schedule a bit but it obviously didn't hurt me. Nothing to Grouch about here!


Saturday, May 8, 2010

I'm Through almost a Third of a Pie?

I can't believe that I have done this! A new perspective of my accomplishments and progress towards my ultimate goal of losing 120 pounds. That is a pretty decent hunk of my progress pie right there!

The numbers and letters are a little hard to read. The blue section says I have 85 pounds left to lose(70.8% of my goal) and the green section says I've lost 35 pounds(29.2% of my goal) All that blue tells me that I have got a long way to go still but that green piece tells me that I am getting there!

I know that people tend to lose a lot of weight in the beginning and then plateau for a while. I've been waiting for this and have been sort of expecting it at each of my weigh ins only to be surprised with a string of weekly 4 pound losses. My goal from the start was to lose 2-3 pounds per week. Each Monday before I step on the scale I prepare myself to not be disappointed that I didn't reach that goal. That I might weigh the same as the week before or maybe even more but each time I am truly amazed.

Maybe this week it will happen? As good as I am doing there is still that voice in my head Monday morning wondering: "Did I do enough this week? I should of done more." It's only Saturday and I am already wondering about it.


Thursday, May 6, 2010

I Have Added A New Weapon!

A new weapon in my arsenal of fitness to help combat my personal war on obesity. It's a Bosu ball. They get a lot of good reviews and seem to have an endless list of possibilities for exercise moves, positions, etc.

Good for balance and working on your core. You can use it flat side down or flat side up. BOSU stands for Both Sides Utilized. You can do strength stuff like push ups or squats on it. You can do cardio stuff and use it like a step. You can also just stand on it and balance on it while doing any other exercise you would normaly do standing up. Like bicep curls or shoulder presses, etc etc..

I wanted to get one a while ago but they have a 300 pound max limit rating on them. Not a problem anymore! Kind of pricy at $160 but it came in a kit with 4 DVD's. I was trying to stand on it flat side up on one foot just now. Not easy, well not really hard but harder then you would think it would be.

If anyone watches The Biggest Loser you have probably seen the Bosu ball in action. In one episode they showed a clip of a US Olympic athlete standing on one with one foot AND twirling a hula hoop around her waist. I can barely stand on it and I can't hula with both feet on the ground.

The Most important thing about the Bosu ball to remember is that your dog will love it!

note... Not really my dog just a picture I found.


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Night Rider

I have the bike set up in a small room, it is the bike riding room, that is its only function. I have a TV at eye level while I ride, and a tall halogen lamp in the room. There are shelves on the wall beside the bike where I keep remotes and towels, there are some electronic devices hooked up to the TV, that is all that is in the room.

Sometimes I listen to the IPOD, sometimes I watch TV, Sometimes I listen to the IPOD while watching TV. Anyways, I had the lights off watching TV and riding when I decided to turn off the TV and just listen to music. Forgetting that the halogen light was off, I turned off the TV and dropped the remote. Complete darkness. SHIT! I didn't want to get off the bike and interrupt the workout so I just kept riding in the darkness.

Immediately after I decided to just ride in the dark and got into a comfortable resistance there was that familiar click inside my brain. The switch between mortal man and calorie terminator getting thrown. I was locked and loaded, pumping those pedals hard. Like a laser beam I was focused and unwavering. I was on a mission, I had a target, I was relentless, I was unstoppable!

With nothing to focus on except the feeling in my legs I kept pedaling faster and harder and the amount of sweat dripping off me was off the chart. Thats the first time I've ever felt sweat running down my arms and dripping off at my wrists. I was totally drenched.

I probably only rode that way for 12 to 15 minutes (3 songs) But I felt like I burned as much as I do in a 45 minute ride. Intense and insane workout!

I am purposefully going to try riding in the dark again.


Monday, May 3, 2010

The Making of a Massive Marcus Lunch!

Was kind of bored this afternoon so I decided to take pictures of my lunch being made.

I had a bunch of vegetables that needed to be used up so I got the knife and cutting board out and went to work. I cut everything nice and thin and cooked them in the oven on a round cookie sheet with some olive oil and a touch of Cajun seasoning for some zip!

After my vegetables were cooked I mixed them up and put them in a container. Then I BBQ's 6 chicken breasts that I had marinating in the fridge. After the chicken was cooked and cooled I sliced it all up into another container and got some other ingredients ready.

Next it was time to put it all together and plate it! It's a BBQ'd chicken sandwich with roasted vegetables, sliced tomato, baby spinach, and spicy mustard on a thin round multi grain bun. Served with a side of more baby spinach, sliced pineapple, strawberries, a glass of skim milk and my daily multi-vitamin.

And the final picture is my close up artistic shot. Good enough for a magazine. More than good enough for lunch! BURP! Excuse me :)

I think it's a good mix of vegetables, fruit, protein and carbs.

Thanks for following!


Time to Weigh In

I had a very good week this week. A large part of that was connected to trying to finish the May Day challenge strong. Today I weighed in at 292 pounds which means I lost another 4 pounds.

Total weight loss so far is 35 pounds!

I feel awesome.


Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Ships Captain

Today I thought I would write about choices. We make so many of them everyday. Some small and insignificant others are possibly life changing. I think all choices we make, big or small, have consequences of varying degrees. I believe strongly in causality which is a philosophical concept of cause and effect. We can take this and make it very basic. When my brain tells my foot to press on the brake in my car the car slows down. The effect was a slowing car, the cause was my foot on the brake. But what actually made my foot press on the brake is the key, it was my mind.

I love analogies and lately I've been thinking of this one: My body is a ship and my brain is the captain. The captain is in charge of the ship. The ship does nothing without orders from the captain and the ship always does what the captain says, even if it's not in the ships best interest.

Every time our hand moves from the plate to our mouths, every time we put our hand in the cookie jar, every time we turn down a piece of cake, every time we accept a piece of cake, every time we get off that treadmill/bike 5 minutes earlier, every time we stay on that bike/treadmill a little longer, every single last solitary movement and decision we make is a direct order from the Captain.

The point is control. When we understand that we are in control we can steer our ship to the destination of our choice. Yes there will be icebergs/obstacles, yes stormy weather may throw us off course but a good captain intent on bringing their ship safely to port will find a way. An out of control captain that throws caution to the wind, who forgoes the health and safety of their ship, doesn't plan his course out and doesn't deal with troubles head on will end up in a place they didn't want to be.

Once I realized that I wasn't helpless and that I had control things started to change. I decide what I will eat, I decide when and how I will exercise, I decide the course and bearing of this ship. If things aren't working I will chart a new course.

All fingers point to me. I am in control, I am the Captain.



Saturday, May 1, 2010

The May Day Challenge

Some of you may know that Clyde set up a May Day challenge on his blog. If you didn't know about it basically everyone who wanted to participate just named their goal that they wanted to achieve by May 1st.

My goal was to be under 300 pounds. I was 313 at the end of March which meant I had to lose 14 pounds by today. However, I achieved my goal early when I weighed in on Monday at 296. Still I weighed in today because today is May 1st and I weighed in at 293! 3 more pounds lost since Monday! So that means I lost 20 pounds in April (actually over a 33 day span) All I can say to that is : " WOW"

Eventually I'll post the results on Clyde's blog as well but it may have to be later. I'm guessing he will read this post before I get to do that. Thanks for setting up the May Day Challenge Clyde! It was a good motivator for the month of April. I'm looking forward to eventually seeing how everyone did!


Monday, April 26, 2010


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Get lost number 3 and hello number 2 because I am out of the 300's! I started this weeks battle at a weight of 301 pounds and except for a couple of blips I had an excellent week. Lots of good food, water, exercise and sleep.

I lost 5 pounds this week! As of today I weigh 296 pounds baby! A sign that I am heading the right direction. I have lost a total of 31 pounds in 7 weeks which works out to an average of 4.4 pounds per week. My goal at the start was to lose 2 to 3 pounds per week so I am achieving that goal and then some.

These weekly weigh in results are so empowering. There are always struggles to make the best choices throughout the week, sometimes daily, but these Monday morning results coupled with the way I feel lately make all the sacrifices and effort so worthwile.

Before I started this journey I would have used the word “shame” to describe how I felt about myself. Today standing on that scale I would replace that word with the word “pride”.

I can do it!... correction.... I am doing it!

MM (a proud calorie terminator)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Yin and Yang Weekend

Had one good day, Sunday, and one bad day, Saturday, this weekend. Well I should not really say bad as much as not great.

On Saturday I was at a friends place for a BBQ. Regular BBQ food was available, burgers, dogs, potato salad, you know what I mean. So I indulged in a burger which was a pretty big burger, maybe a half a pound before cooking. I had it on a regular white bread large hamburger bun and loaded it up with lettuce and tomato, I said no thanks to the cheese and other badies like mayo. I ate the whole thing with a side of regular salad(no dressing)

Man I did not feel good,physically or mentally, after eating that. I think it was the grease from the burger. I haven't eaten anything like that for weeks, not even red meat. I've been eating a steady diet of turkey, chicken and fish for my meat proteins. You can really see the difference in these meats when you cook them compared to beef. There is no dripping grease causing BBQ flame ups from a burger made from ground turkey.

I knew it wasn't the best choice to make but I thought: "It's a nice sunny day with friends", and they looked so good as I helped cook them, "Why not treat myself to one burger?" To be honest it didn't taste that good, I would of rather had anything from my menu of the last few weeks and like I said earlier I didn't feel good after eating it. It's also the first time I've eaten bread that wasn't of some whole grain variety.

I think back and I don't know how I was eating this stuff before. It's only been about 2 months but before I started I probably would of had 2 of those burgers with cheese and mayo and nice heaping pile of potato salad to go with it. I guess I am starting to get accustomed to eating healthier food and my body kind of revolted when I threw that grease ball down my gullet.

So my body and I are in agreement: We like the clean fuel much more. Next BBQ I go to I am going to bring along my own food to throw on the grill. Something that I already discussed with my friends and they are very supportive.

I don't think Saturday will derail my weigh in on Monday, I had a great day today with the exercise and nutrition. I am totally expecting to break the 300 mark tomorrow!


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Pedal Pushing Power

I just finished a blaster of a bike workout. The calorie furnaces were burning for a solid 60 minutes!

There are moments while biking where I feel like I could pedal forever. There is a freedom in these moments that are hard to describe. It's like I've been burdened with limitations my entire life but now those limitations are vanishing. I can feel an assertiveness growing within myself and a confidence emerging. Just like a kid lying in bed the night before embarking on a trip to Disney World I too am excited about the future.

As much as I have changed and improved physically in just a few weeks I think that it is the change in my head and heart that is the most profound. I've tried losing weight before but this time it is different. There is a resolve here that will not break, a determination without limits. I will not be denied!

I'm off now for a much needed soak in the tub.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Wow 13 followers!

I need to start dressing this blog up a bit. I tried adding a picture a few posts back but for whatever reason it did not work. This time it seems to be working! This is the bike I've been currently riding! I love it more and more by the week.

I'd like to do a post with pictures of what I ate that day like I've seen on various other blogs. I like those posts.

I did not know what to expect when I started this blog. I've never ever blogged before. After the first couple of posts I thought maybe this would just be something for me to keep myself accountable. A personal journal of sorts. I wondered if anyone would even find it, then I started getting followers and feed back. Clyde was the first.

I want to thank everyone who takes the time to share this experience with me and for all the kind words and motivation. I am very happy that I have found this community of support and understanding.

EVERYONE keep taking steps to make your goals a reality!


Monday, April 19, 2010

Shocked, Happy, Confused Weigh In

I lost another 4 pounds this week!?! How did this happen? I have the same loss as last week with just a fraction of the work, my eating was still good. I am not complaining but it just does not make sense. I was bracing myself for a no loss week and maybe even a gain in weight. Incredible. I stepped on the scale 5 times this morning and every time the answer was the same, 4 pounds.

That brings my weight down to 301! With almost 2 weeks to go till the May Day challenge I think the goal of being under 300 is looking super achievable.

I have lost a total of 26 pounds so far. I am working really hard at it but I am astonished at how much progress I've made in such a short amount of time.

In the beginning I could only ride the bike for 5 minutes, Now I can do 60 minutes (well only a couple of times, usually I do about 40) My handlebars have 3 hand positions, the further the position from the seat the more you lean forward. In the beginning I could not use any of them. I had to sit straight up with my finger tips touching the first position or holding onto the frame where the handle bars connect. My belly didn't allow me to lean forward, it was hard to breathe and my thighs pushed against my belly as I pedaled. Now I can use all three positions, the third one is a little uncomfortable because you end up bent right over like Tour de France style but at least I can physically grab those bars and still breathe.

Sitting down and tying my shoes is not an ordeal anymore either. Just like the bike when I bent over my gut would crush into my thighs and it would be hard to breathe. After tying my shoes I would actually be out of breath. That was a glaring sign I needed to start losing weight. Now I just tie my shoes, no problem, effortless, like it should be.

Feeling a lot better in my clothes too. The looseness is a constant reminder that I am doing something that works.

Today I feel strong with no lingering illness symptoms! Today the calorie terminator looks towards the upcoming week with a cold mechanical precision. NO PAIN, NO MERCY, NO REMORSE, NO QUIT.

"I'll be BACK!" again and again and again.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Feeling much better!

The sickness is still lingering but I am feeling much much better.

Got back on the cycle today and had a quality 30 minute ride. That felt good. First decent workout since Monday which means I had 4 days of couch and bed with work sandwiched in between. That is the longest break I have taken since I started this quest for health. Even with the fact that it was due to illness it was still very unsettling because it felt like I was drifting back into my very recent past of being sedentary. The major difference this time being that I was still eating healthy as opposed to eating everything in sight.

I really feel like I'm starting to make exercise a habit which made taking this break hard from the standpoint of erasing the progress of forming that habit. I have to remember that I am the one in control. I am the one that decides. I rule this body and I will continue to do with it what I want to do which is eat right and workout.

Don't know what to expect from Mondays weigh in. I'm just glad to be getting somewhat back into a routine.


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Under the Weather

I've been fighting a cold for the last 3 days and it's really effecting my ability to workout. Nutrition has still been really good but I don't want to do much more than lie on the couch or soak in a hot bath. I did have a pretty good workout the one day and I actually felt better but I crashed into sickness again pretty hard a couple of hours post workout. I'll take that as a sign that I need to just rest and let this crap run it's course.

The weird thing is I haven't been sick in years. Now that I'm trying to get "healthier" I get sick? I wonder if their is a connection. Body is too stressed maybe and my immune system couldn't deal with this bug? I don't know. Right now it's just a runny nose, a cough and an achy tired feeling.

I'm hoping to feel a lot better by the weekend so that I can get back into my routine. Right now I'm bracing for a possible gain in weight this week. Yikes, thats kind of scary.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Time to Weigh in!

I can hardly believe it, even with all my hard work, but I lost another 4 pounds this week!

I am feeling great and very proud but also tired. I think I will make today and tomorrow rest days before I get back at it. I think the rest will be beneficial.

So I'm down 22 pounds in 5 weeks now. I am impressing myself! WOO HOO!!!!!


Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Calorie Furnaces

All this bike riding is doing some great things to my legs. I can see and feel my quads starting to poke out from underneath the flab. I really notice a difference in the size of my legs because my pants are fitting much looser in the thigh area.

I've done a lot of reading over the years on working out and muscles and nutrition etc etc... One thing that stuck with me is that your muscles act like calorie furnaces at rest and especially when doing work.

The bigger the muscle group being worked the more calories you burn. And the biggest muscles are in our legs. When you contrast the muscle mass in your legs (Quads, hamstrings, glutes, calves) versus the muscles in your arms (biceps, triceps, forearms) There really is no match. Your legs account for roughly half your body. The next biggest muscle group is the back and then the chest.

So getting back to the idea of calorie furnaces. I have dubbed each of my legs with a name: Calorie Furnace #1 and Calorie Furnace #2. When I'm starting a bike ride I am motivated with the following thought: "Calorie Furnaces 1 and 2 warming up."

Sometimes I look down and watch those thighs churning through some decent resistance while my IPOD pumps mad paced music into my head and it almost feels like a switch being thrown. I feel like I go from a guy trying to get some exercise to an unstoppable machine. Like a calorie terminator. All of a sudden fatigue doesn't exist.

My legs are pistons pumping relentlessly, my heart the engine, my mouth acting as both an air intake and an exhaust, my perspirning skin the cooling mechanism, my brain a computer running a calculated program matching each pedal stroke in time with the drums pounding into my ears.

Boom-Pedal-Boom-Pedal-Boom-Pedal, and as the song intensifies the Calorie Furnaces follow suit. I can feel the burning, the engine revs harder, the exhaust/intake increase volume, coolant drips from my nose and runs down my back, and my computer brain relays the folowing information: Calorie Furnaces #1 and #2 are kicking ass!


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Lure of the Scale

I've only been weighing myself on Mondays and I've liked the anticipation of what the scale may say. I think it helps motivate me week to week. But lately there has been an overwhelming pull to weigh myself the morning after a good day of nutrition and exercise. I have yet to give in to that urge but it is getting hard.

It is interesting that before this quest for health the scale was something that I avoided. I did not want to know what I weighed, I did not even like to think about it. These days I think about it all the time. Today specifically I am thinking about how the last 2 days since my official Monday weigh in have gone great and with 4 days and 5 sleeps till my next weigh in I so want to know where I am at today.

I guess it kind of touches on one of my earlier posts about facing the problem head on and engaging in a solution as opposed to avoiding it and or drowning it with more food.

Beyond just loving food I am an emotional eater as well. Food would always make me feel better but that feeling was always short lived and replaced with regret and depression which would lead to more eating. What a vicious cycle that can be. Today, completing a good workout gives me that good feeling and it lasts all day.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Sacrifices, Rewards and Weigh-ins

The Sacrifice: Cutting up cheese cakes and not eating any. Refilling large bowls with chips and MM's and not snacking on them. The killer: After surviving through dinner A large tub of moose tracks ice cream is placed in the middle of the table , that one was real tough to turn away from but i did!

The Reward: The scale says I'm down 4 lbs this week! A nice surprise indeed!

After yesterday I was bracing myself for a possible gain. I ate good stuff but overdid it a bit. I felt stuffed. It's was the most I have eaten in one sitting in a month.

The Numbers: 4 pounds lost this week, 18 pounds lost total.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

My plan for getting through Easter Sunday

It's been brooding about in my mind for the last couple of days. Then I kicked myself and said "I am in control" Mind over matter right? Nobody can force me to eat anything, I have the choice of what I eat and of how much I eat.

So here is my basic plan for Sunday:

NO DESERTS: I know they will taste great and be so cruelly tempting but I also know how bad the guilt is after an indulgence like that and it's just not worth it.

EAT SLOWLY: I'm just going to make one plate (not heaping) I will try a little bit of everything that I like and I'm going to take my time and enjoy it.

GO OUTSIDE: The weather is going to be awesome so instead of sitting on one of the couches or the lazy boy surrounded by various bowls and platters of goodies I'll go outside and enjoy the sun and air with all the young children in our extended family.

I think that is a reasonable and practical approach. Easier to write in a blog then to actually do but like I said at the beginning : I am in control.

I haven't told anyone close to me that I am trying to lose weight. I'm not sure why exactly. I think partly so that I don't feel like I'm being judged. Not because I'm afraid of failing, even thou I am afraid of failing, but that's not the reason I'm keeping this a secret for now. I think I want people to notice the changes in my appearance without actually looking for them if that makes sense. Hopefully if my success continues then it will be obvious that I am losing weight.

So far the only comment I've had was from a co-worker, the gossip queen, who commented in the lunch room " You are eating a lot healthier lately" I just brushed it off with a " Yeah I guess. I'm trying to cook more at home so I don't waste so much money on takeout/fast food"
and then the conversation shifted to some other topic. Later I started thinking: "Wow, people are actually noticing a difference in my lunches at work?" Now I am wondering whats circulating about me in the office.

I know gossip exists in all work places but you have to understand that my work is very very bad. If something happens everyone knows about it including co-workers on other shifts and in other buildings on the other side of town. It's one of those things that really irk me.

So I've decided I am going to have to throw a curve ball at those nosy loose lipped bastards. I'm going to make it look like I'm eating bad food and losing weight at the same time! It will drive them bananas! I'm thinking of walking into work everyday slurping on fast food cups filled with water and ice. Maybe my brown paper bag lunch should be in a KFC paper bag. Salad in a pizza box? I know, I'll pretend to call various establishments and place orders for pick up while the worst of the bunch is in ear shot. HA HA this could be a lot of fun.

"....Yeah can I get that with double cheese and double sausage and I'll get the 2 liter Coke" pause " No I don't like Diet Coke, Do you have Mountain Dew? Good I'll get that and an order of that garlic cheese bread with an extra side of sauce" pause " how much?" pause "Do you still have that pound of chicken wings 5 dollar deal?" pause " Oh it's only with an extra large pizza, Okay then make it an extra large instead of a large then and I'll get the wings with hot sauce on them. Thanks " then when I hang up the phone I'll mention out loud to the guy beside me "Man I am starving!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Good Friday

Hope everyone is having a great Easter weekend.

Today was a good day for me but I am anxious about going to Easter dinner on Sunday at my parents house. All the tasty food that I know will be there. I was over there for a few minutes today and already the bowls of easter chocolates have appeared.

I had to get out of there so I cut my visit short and escaped the temptation but I won't be able to bail on Sunday. I will be stuck for hours amidst probably the most fattening and tasty foods known to man. Cheesecakes, yes that is a plural on the cheesecake because in our house we like to have more than one flavor. Not to mention regular cake, chocolate eggs in every corner of the house, fresh home made bread, garlic butter mashed potatoes and gravy.....etc etc....

And all of that comes the day before a weigh in. God help me... I'm already stressed out about it.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


60 minutes non-stop on the spin bike this morning and I felt like I could keep going! It was just me, the bike and an hour of speed driven music.

My reward: A puddle of sweat and a sore but.

May Day is going DOWN!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Monday Weigh In Results

My third weigh in so far and by far my best week in terms of exercise and nutrition. I lost 2 pounds this week which brings my total loss to 14 pounds.

I find myself in a little bit of a confused zone. On one hand I am happy to lose the 2 lbs but on the other I am disappointed that it is not more. Based on my first 2 weeks and how hard I worked this week I was hoping for a 4 or a 5.

I was going to erase the previous paragraph because I gave myself a shake and reminded myself that my goal is 2 - 3 pounds per week so it's GOAL ACHIEVED! I decided to leave the paragraph in because>> thats what I was truthfully thinking when I wrote it. In this paragraph I decided that I should feel more positive about the week.

I really worked out hard and I had some good motivation going head to head with Clyde. I thank him for that. I wonder if 2 pounds will be enough? Definitely beatable. I haven't been to his blog yet but considering it's 6:30am I'm guessing it's too early for him and I'll have to wait until I get done work to know how my virtual challenger did.

I am reminding myself that this is a long journey and for the third week in a row I have moved closer to my desired destination. Another battle won in the war.


Sunday, March 28, 2010

I feel like I am doing well!

I've just had a great overall feeling lately.

Sure there has been some soreness here and there but each time I move a sore muscle there is a hint of pride with the pain. Pride that the soreness is there because I've done something to better myself, to achieve my goals.

I feel thinner and lighter. That is until I look in the mirror without a shirt on... REALITY CHECK!.... It's amazing how I have avoided mirrors in the past.

I stood and looked at myself in the mirror this morning....really looked....at all the rolls and flab and blubber. It's depressing, I guess thats why I avoided the mirrors. But I think that because I am now actually actively doing something about this problem I can stand to look at myself in the mirror. It's still painful, no doubt about that, but I am facing the problem now instead of avoiding it.

Although things don't look good in the reflection now I know they are getting better, and like the title of this post, I feel like I am doing well.


Friday, March 26, 2010


They are everywhere.

I started keeping a list of when other people offered or tempted me with something that was on the unhealthy side of the food spectrum. Well not really a list, more like a running tally. Every time it happens I tick a line on a sheet of paper. 4 lines vertically and then the 5th horizontally through the 4 lines kind of thing. For example if someone was to say: "have a cookie" (thats one mark) if when I say: "No Thanks." they answer back: "Are you sure?" or "Come on just 1" or "No you gotta try one" (that would be a 2nd mark)

I am amazed at how fast the ticks are adding up. The reason I started doing it was because me and a buddy got to talking about trying to stay on a diet over the holidays. I don't have to tell anyone here that it is really hard. Especially Christmas, there are parties and food everywhere.

Then I got to thinking about all the other times that temptation rears it's ugly head. Like birthday cake or anytime Grandma is around! She is a fabulous baker and loves to nourish her grandkids. So I wanted to know, in a year, how many times would I be tempted. To be clear it's not how many times I have a craving, the page would already be full that way. It's how many times SOMEONE ELSE tempts me.

It's not like I walk around with a pen and a sheet of paper in my pocket either. I just try to make a mental note of it when it happens and then record it later that night at home. It's been kind of fun to the point of hoping that people will actually try to tempt me. I've already decided not to give in to temptations but when it happens now my first thought is: "One more tick for the sheet!"

An interesting experiment I guess. I have to keep the sheet a secret, except to the blogging universe, so that I don't influence anyone to act differently. I have faced temptation 5 times in the 7 days since I've been recording them and all 5 times I've held strong.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Ups and Downs

In less than 3 weeks I've already experienced so many ups and downs.

I was supposed to exercise this morning but stayed in bed for an extra hour instead. I was bummed out all day because of it. When I got home this afternoon I had a kick ass workout! 20 minutes of weights and 40 minutes on the bike. My shirt was soaked and that bummed out feeling was traded in for a feeling of contention and pride.

If I can keep those "up" feelings outnumbering those "down" feeling I am sure that I will be okay.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

5 yr old girl crushes 315 pound man

I was over at a friends place today and I was talking with his daughter who is only 5 and very smart. Seriously, the kid was full on reading books at three. She is five now and instead of reading she puts her finger down and scans through a page in about 5-7 seconds. Even her dad, who is a brain himself, did not believe she was actually reading the books that quickly but when he tests her on the contents of what she just read it is obvious that she is reading and retaining information.

Anyways, the kid loves to read, and I mean LOVES to read. Which is kind of troubling because she might read something not suitable for a five year old. Like the time she got her hands on a high school biology book and then explained to me how babies are made in full graphic detail. Or when she read a book titled "True Ghost Stories" and then was scared to be alone.

A lot of the time when I speak with little 5 year old Jenny it would feel like an adult conversation except for the super tiny voice. Her vocabulary is amazing.

So today we were talking about me trying to lose weight, and healthy foods, muscles, fat and exercise in general. That's when she said "I think you would be categorized as obese Marcus." Wow did that sting. I think if she had said "fat" instead of obese it wouldn't of cut so deep.

Jenny wasn't trying to be mean. She was just using her little scientist brain. For her poltergeists can be dangerous, a penis ejaculates semen and Marcus is obese. Just the facts. And that is how a little 5 year old girl with glasses crushed a 315 pound man today.

Being that today was a planned day off did not help. Tomorrow, however, is a planned day on. While I'm riding that bike tomorrow morning I'm going to think of all the big fancy words Jenny can use to "categorize" me once I've lost this weight.