Saturday, May 15, 2010

Why Isn't "No Thank You" Good enough?

I run into so many instances like I did tonight. I was at a house party for a kids birthday and everything was going good until the cake and ice cream arrived. The problem wasn't that I ate cake and ice cream the problem was that I said "No Thank You." to cake and ice cream.

Most people respond with: "are you sure?" and then I would politely respond: "yes, I'm sure, thanks" and then usually you get a: "Well theres lots so help your self if you change your mind" or some other polite response.

Today, however, when I said: "No Thanks." I got this answer: "Why not?" in a tone that said "whats wrong with you"

So I was a little taken aback but I answered: "Well you know I'm trying to lose weight and get healthy... blah, blah , blah" but this answer wasn't good enough for her. She wouldn't let it go and we ended up talking about not eating the cake and ice cream for the rest of the night.

"It's just a piece of birthday cake Marcus", "You've been doing good, you should reward yourself", "You can't deny everything all the time... You've got to live a little"

Now this is my friends wife, and I do like her, but I had to try real hard not to show how angry I was getting. I mean really why do people care what I eat? You've got to live a little??? I wanted to say thats what I'm trying to do instead of eating this crap and shortening my life.

Why isn't No Thank you good enough? Ever get one of these?: "It's just a cookie", "come on you can have one/some."They are good, try it"

I really think some people get uncomfortable when you choose to not eat the same crap they are. But why does it matter? I don't care that they are indulging. And why would anyone try to talk someone, who is trying to lose weight, into eating something like cake and ice cream? Because I should reward myself? If someone quit smoking I wouldn't tell them they should smoke a cigarette as a reward for going so many days without one.

Of course there is the other end of the spectrum where people are very supportive and go out of their way to buy fresh fruit or veggie trays or modify their dinner with things they think are healthy because they know I'm coming over. That's happened a couple of times and I have to say it's very thoughtful and makes me stronger knowing I have that kind of support.

I suppose the longer I can keep up this transformation and keep turning down these unhealthy choices the less likely I have to go through nights like tonight.

It was another victory for me turning down birthday cake with ice cream. But really this battle shouldn't of even been fought.

Okay.. I'm done ranting.



  1. Nice story, but what a bummer that it kept coming up. My wife and I went to the movies. At one point she said "I bet you're the only one in hear eating an apple!". Later, she asked if I wanted some popcorn. I paused for 1/2 a second and said "I don't think that 2-3 kernals would really taste good...I'd want more." She agreed.

    Little choices, man.

    Nice going.

  2. Good for you for sticking to your guns! I've encountered people like that myself.

  3. That's tough and frustrating! I admire you for not being rude to her. :) She sounds annoying. That's really nice to read that some people try to make healthier dinners when you join them. Sweet friends!

  4. I am similarly annoyed sometimes when people put you in this kind of situation. My advice to you is to find a way to drop the subject, change it, move to a new conversation partner. It beats ruining a whole afternoon. Fortunately, few people are going to be this insistent that you sacrifice your health for their benefit.

  5. 110 Pounds just had a great post on this topic.