It's been brooding about in my mind for the last couple of days. Then I kicked myself and said "I am in control" Mind over matter right? Nobody can force me to eat anything, I have the choice of what I eat and of how much I eat.
So here is my basic plan for Sunday:
NO DESERTS: I know they will taste great and be so cruelly tempting but I also know how bad the guilt is after an indulgence like that and it's just not worth it.
EAT SLOWLY: I'm just going to make one plate (not heaping) I will try a little bit of everything that I like and I'm going to take my time and enjoy it.
GO OUTSIDE: The weather is going to be awesome so instead of sitting on one of the couches or the lazy boy surrounded by various bowls and platters of goodies I'll go outside and enjoy the sun and air with all the young children in our extended family.
I think that is a reasonable and practical approach. Easier to write in a blog then to actually do but like I said at the beginning : I am in control.
I haven't told anyone close to me that I am trying to lose weight. I'm not sure why exactly. I think partly so that I don't feel like I'm being judged. Not because I'm afraid of failing, even thou I am afraid of failing, but that's not the reason I'm keeping this a secret for now. I think I want people to notice the changes in my appearance without actually looking for them if that makes sense. Hopefully if my success continues then it will be obvious that I am losing weight.
So far the only comment I've had was from a co-worker, the gossip queen, who commented in the lunch room " You are eating a lot healthier lately" I just brushed it off with a " Yeah I guess. I'm trying to cook more at home so I don't waste so much money on takeout/fast food" and then the conversation shifted to some other topic. Later I started thinking: "Wow, people are actually noticing a difference in my lunches at work?" Now I am wondering whats circulating about me in the office.
I know gossip exists in all work places but you have to understand that my work is very very bad. If something happens everyone knows about it including co-workers on other shifts and in other buildings on the other side of town. It's one of those things that really irk me.
So I've decided I am going to have to throw a curve ball at those nosy loose lipped bastards. I'm going to make it look like I'm eating bad food and losing weight at the same time! It will drive them bananas! I'm thinking of walking into work everyday slurping on fast food cups filled with water and ice. Maybe my brown paper bag lunch should be in a KFC paper bag. Salad in a pizza box? I know, I'll pretend to call various establishments and place orders for pick up while the worst of the bunch is in ear shot. HA HA this could be a lot of fun.
"....Yeah can I get that with double cheese and double sausage and I'll get the 2 liter Coke" pause " No I don't like Diet Coke, Do you have Mountain Dew? Good I'll get that and an order of that garlic cheese bread with an extra side of sauce" pause " how much?" pause "Do you still have that pound of chicken wings 5 dollar deal?" pause " Oh it's only with an extra large pizza, Okay then make it an extra large instead of a large then and I'll get the wings with hot sauce on them. Thanks " then when I hang up the phone I'll mention out loud to the guy beside me "Man I am starving!