Monday, April 26, 2010


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Get lost number 3 and hello number 2 because I am out of the 300's! I started this weeks battle at a weight of 301 pounds and except for a couple of blips I had an excellent week. Lots of good food, water, exercise and sleep.

I lost 5 pounds this week! As of today I weigh 296 pounds baby! A sign that I am heading the right direction. I have lost a total of 31 pounds in 7 weeks which works out to an average of 4.4 pounds per week. My goal at the start was to lose 2 to 3 pounds per week so I am achieving that goal and then some.

These weekly weigh in results are so empowering. There are always struggles to make the best choices throughout the week, sometimes daily, but these Monday morning results coupled with the way I feel lately make all the sacrifices and effort so worthwile.

Before I started this journey I would have used the word “shame” to describe how I felt about myself. Today standing on that scale I would replace that word with the word “pride”.

I can do it!... correction.... I am doing it!

MM (a proud calorie terminator)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Yin and Yang Weekend

Had one good day, Sunday, and one bad day, Saturday, this weekend. Well I should not really say bad as much as not great.

On Saturday I was at a friends place for a BBQ. Regular BBQ food was available, burgers, dogs, potato salad, you know what I mean. So I indulged in a burger which was a pretty big burger, maybe a half a pound before cooking. I had it on a regular white bread large hamburger bun and loaded it up with lettuce and tomato, I said no thanks to the cheese and other badies like mayo. I ate the whole thing with a side of regular salad(no dressing)

Man I did not feel good,physically or mentally, after eating that. I think it was the grease from the burger. I haven't eaten anything like that for weeks, not even red meat. I've been eating a steady diet of turkey, chicken and fish for my meat proteins. You can really see the difference in these meats when you cook them compared to beef. There is no dripping grease causing BBQ flame ups from a burger made from ground turkey.

I knew it wasn't the best choice to make but I thought: "It's a nice sunny day with friends", and they looked so good as I helped cook them, "Why not treat myself to one burger?" To be honest it didn't taste that good, I would of rather had anything from my menu of the last few weeks and like I said earlier I didn't feel good after eating it. It's also the first time I've eaten bread that wasn't of some whole grain variety.

I think back and I don't know how I was eating this stuff before. It's only been about 2 months but before I started I probably would of had 2 of those burgers with cheese and mayo and nice heaping pile of potato salad to go with it. I guess I am starting to get accustomed to eating healthier food and my body kind of revolted when I threw that grease ball down my gullet.

So my body and I are in agreement: We like the clean fuel much more. Next BBQ I go to I am going to bring along my own food to throw on the grill. Something that I already discussed with my friends and they are very supportive.

I don't think Saturday will derail my weigh in on Monday, I had a great day today with the exercise and nutrition. I am totally expecting to break the 300 mark tomorrow!


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Pedal Pushing Power

I just finished a blaster of a bike workout. The calorie furnaces were burning for a solid 60 minutes!

There are moments while biking where I feel like I could pedal forever. There is a freedom in these moments that are hard to describe. It's like I've been burdened with limitations my entire life but now those limitations are vanishing. I can feel an assertiveness growing within myself and a confidence emerging. Just like a kid lying in bed the night before embarking on a trip to Disney World I too am excited about the future.

As much as I have changed and improved physically in just a few weeks I think that it is the change in my head and heart that is the most profound. I've tried losing weight before but this time it is different. There is a resolve here that will not break, a determination without limits. I will not be denied!

I'm off now for a much needed soak in the tub.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Wow 13 followers!

I need to start dressing this blog up a bit. I tried adding a picture a few posts back but for whatever reason it did not work. This time it seems to be working! This is the bike I've been currently riding! I love it more and more by the week.

I'd like to do a post with pictures of what I ate that day like I've seen on various other blogs. I like those posts.

I did not know what to expect when I started this blog. I've never ever blogged before. After the first couple of posts I thought maybe this would just be something for me to keep myself accountable. A personal journal of sorts. I wondered if anyone would even find it, then I started getting followers and feed back. Clyde was the first.

I want to thank everyone who takes the time to share this experience with me and for all the kind words and motivation. I am very happy that I have found this community of support and understanding.

EVERYONE keep taking steps to make your goals a reality!


Monday, April 19, 2010

Shocked, Happy, Confused Weigh In

I lost another 4 pounds this week!?! How did this happen? I have the same loss as last week with just a fraction of the work, my eating was still good. I am not complaining but it just does not make sense. I was bracing myself for a no loss week and maybe even a gain in weight. Incredible. I stepped on the scale 5 times this morning and every time the answer was the same, 4 pounds.

That brings my weight down to 301! With almost 2 weeks to go till the May Day challenge I think the goal of being under 300 is looking super achievable.

I have lost a total of 26 pounds so far. I am working really hard at it but I am astonished at how much progress I've made in such a short amount of time.

In the beginning I could only ride the bike for 5 minutes, Now I can do 60 minutes (well only a couple of times, usually I do about 40) My handlebars have 3 hand positions, the further the position from the seat the more you lean forward. In the beginning I could not use any of them. I had to sit straight up with my finger tips touching the first position or holding onto the frame where the handle bars connect. My belly didn't allow me to lean forward, it was hard to breathe and my thighs pushed against my belly as I pedaled. Now I can use all three positions, the third one is a little uncomfortable because you end up bent right over like Tour de France style but at least I can physically grab those bars and still breathe.

Sitting down and tying my shoes is not an ordeal anymore either. Just like the bike when I bent over my gut would crush into my thighs and it would be hard to breathe. After tying my shoes I would actually be out of breath. That was a glaring sign I needed to start losing weight. Now I just tie my shoes, no problem, effortless, like it should be.

Feeling a lot better in my clothes too. The looseness is a constant reminder that I am doing something that works.

Today I feel strong with no lingering illness symptoms! Today the calorie terminator looks towards the upcoming week with a cold mechanical precision. NO PAIN, NO MERCY, NO REMORSE, NO QUIT.

"I'll be BACK!" again and again and again.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Feeling much better!

The sickness is still lingering but I am feeling much much better.

Got back on the cycle today and had a quality 30 minute ride. That felt good. First decent workout since Monday which means I had 4 days of couch and bed with work sandwiched in between. That is the longest break I have taken since I started this quest for health. Even with the fact that it was due to illness it was still very unsettling because it felt like I was drifting back into my very recent past of being sedentary. The major difference this time being that I was still eating healthy as opposed to eating everything in sight.

I really feel like I'm starting to make exercise a habit which made taking this break hard from the standpoint of erasing the progress of forming that habit. I have to remember that I am the one in control. I am the one that decides. I rule this body and I will continue to do with it what I want to do which is eat right and workout.

Don't know what to expect from Mondays weigh in. I'm just glad to be getting somewhat back into a routine.


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Under the Weather

I've been fighting a cold for the last 3 days and it's really effecting my ability to workout. Nutrition has still been really good but I don't want to do much more than lie on the couch or soak in a hot bath. I did have a pretty good workout the one day and I actually felt better but I crashed into sickness again pretty hard a couple of hours post workout. I'll take that as a sign that I need to just rest and let this crap run it's course.

The weird thing is I haven't been sick in years. Now that I'm trying to get "healthier" I get sick? I wonder if their is a connection. Body is too stressed maybe and my immune system couldn't deal with this bug? I don't know. Right now it's just a runny nose, a cough and an achy tired feeling.

I'm hoping to feel a lot better by the weekend so that I can get back into my routine. Right now I'm bracing for a possible gain in weight this week. Yikes, thats kind of scary.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Time to Weigh in!

I can hardly believe it, even with all my hard work, but I lost another 4 pounds this week!

I am feeling great and very proud but also tired. I think I will make today and tomorrow rest days before I get back at it. I think the rest will be beneficial.

So I'm down 22 pounds in 5 weeks now. I am impressing myself! WOO HOO!!!!!


Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Calorie Furnaces

All this bike riding is doing some great things to my legs. I can see and feel my quads starting to poke out from underneath the flab. I really notice a difference in the size of my legs because my pants are fitting much looser in the thigh area.

I've done a lot of reading over the years on working out and muscles and nutrition etc etc... One thing that stuck with me is that your muscles act like calorie furnaces at rest and especially when doing work.

The bigger the muscle group being worked the more calories you burn. And the biggest muscles are in our legs. When you contrast the muscle mass in your legs (Quads, hamstrings, glutes, calves) versus the muscles in your arms (biceps, triceps, forearms) There really is no match. Your legs account for roughly half your body. The next biggest muscle group is the back and then the chest.

So getting back to the idea of calorie furnaces. I have dubbed each of my legs with a name: Calorie Furnace #1 and Calorie Furnace #2. When I'm starting a bike ride I am motivated with the following thought: "Calorie Furnaces 1 and 2 warming up."

Sometimes I look down and watch those thighs churning through some decent resistance while my IPOD pumps mad paced music into my head and it almost feels like a switch being thrown. I feel like I go from a guy trying to get some exercise to an unstoppable machine. Like a calorie terminator. All of a sudden fatigue doesn't exist.

My legs are pistons pumping relentlessly, my heart the engine, my mouth acting as both an air intake and an exhaust, my perspirning skin the cooling mechanism, my brain a computer running a calculated program matching each pedal stroke in time with the drums pounding into my ears.

Boom-Pedal-Boom-Pedal-Boom-Pedal, and as the song intensifies the Calorie Furnaces follow suit. I can feel the burning, the engine revs harder, the exhaust/intake increase volume, coolant drips from my nose and runs down my back, and my computer brain relays the folowing information: Calorie Furnaces #1 and #2 are kicking ass!


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Lure of the Scale

I've only been weighing myself on Mondays and I've liked the anticipation of what the scale may say. I think it helps motivate me week to week. But lately there has been an overwhelming pull to weigh myself the morning after a good day of nutrition and exercise. I have yet to give in to that urge but it is getting hard.

It is interesting that before this quest for health the scale was something that I avoided. I did not want to know what I weighed, I did not even like to think about it. These days I think about it all the time. Today specifically I am thinking about how the last 2 days since my official Monday weigh in have gone great and with 4 days and 5 sleeps till my next weigh in I so want to know where I am at today.

I guess it kind of touches on one of my earlier posts about facing the problem head on and engaging in a solution as opposed to avoiding it and or drowning it with more food.

Beyond just loving food I am an emotional eater as well. Food would always make me feel better but that feeling was always short lived and replaced with regret and depression which would lead to more eating. What a vicious cycle that can be. Today, completing a good workout gives me that good feeling and it lasts all day.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Sacrifices, Rewards and Weigh-ins

The Sacrifice: Cutting up cheese cakes and not eating any. Refilling large bowls with chips and MM's and not snacking on them. The killer: After surviving through dinner A large tub of moose tracks ice cream is placed in the middle of the table , that one was real tough to turn away from but i did!

The Reward: The scale says I'm down 4 lbs this week! A nice surprise indeed!

After yesterday I was bracing myself for a possible gain. I ate good stuff but overdid it a bit. I felt stuffed. It's was the most I have eaten in one sitting in a month.

The Numbers: 4 pounds lost this week, 18 pounds lost total.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

My plan for getting through Easter Sunday

It's been brooding about in my mind for the last couple of days. Then I kicked myself and said "I am in control" Mind over matter right? Nobody can force me to eat anything, I have the choice of what I eat and of how much I eat.

So here is my basic plan for Sunday:

NO DESERTS: I know they will taste great and be so cruelly tempting but I also know how bad the guilt is after an indulgence like that and it's just not worth it.

EAT SLOWLY: I'm just going to make one plate (not heaping) I will try a little bit of everything that I like and I'm going to take my time and enjoy it.

GO OUTSIDE: The weather is going to be awesome so instead of sitting on one of the couches or the lazy boy surrounded by various bowls and platters of goodies I'll go outside and enjoy the sun and air with all the young children in our extended family.

I think that is a reasonable and practical approach. Easier to write in a blog then to actually do but like I said at the beginning : I am in control.

I haven't told anyone close to me that I am trying to lose weight. I'm not sure why exactly. I think partly so that I don't feel like I'm being judged. Not because I'm afraid of failing, even thou I am afraid of failing, but that's not the reason I'm keeping this a secret for now. I think I want people to notice the changes in my appearance without actually looking for them if that makes sense. Hopefully if my success continues then it will be obvious that I am losing weight.

So far the only comment I've had was from a co-worker, the gossip queen, who commented in the lunch room " You are eating a lot healthier lately" I just brushed it off with a " Yeah I guess. I'm trying to cook more at home so I don't waste so much money on takeout/fast food"
and then the conversation shifted to some other topic. Later I started thinking: "Wow, people are actually noticing a difference in my lunches at work?" Now I am wondering whats circulating about me in the office.

I know gossip exists in all work places but you have to understand that my work is very very bad. If something happens everyone knows about it including co-workers on other shifts and in other buildings on the other side of town. It's one of those things that really irk me.

So I've decided I am going to have to throw a curve ball at those nosy loose lipped bastards. I'm going to make it look like I'm eating bad food and losing weight at the same time! It will drive them bananas! I'm thinking of walking into work everyday slurping on fast food cups filled with water and ice. Maybe my brown paper bag lunch should be in a KFC paper bag. Salad in a pizza box? I know, I'll pretend to call various establishments and place orders for pick up while the worst of the bunch is in ear shot. HA HA this could be a lot of fun.

"....Yeah can I get that with double cheese and double sausage and I'll get the 2 liter Coke" pause " No I don't like Diet Coke, Do you have Mountain Dew? Good I'll get that and an order of that garlic cheese bread with an extra side of sauce" pause " how much?" pause "Do you still have that pound of chicken wings 5 dollar deal?" pause " Oh it's only with an extra large pizza, Okay then make it an extra large instead of a large then and I'll get the wings with hot sauce on them. Thanks " then when I hang up the phone I'll mention out loud to the guy beside me "Man I am starving!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Good Friday

Hope everyone is having a great Easter weekend.

Today was a good day for me but I am anxious about going to Easter dinner on Sunday at my parents house. All the tasty food that I know will be there. I was over there for a few minutes today and already the bowls of easter chocolates have appeared.

I had to get out of there so I cut my visit short and escaped the temptation but I won't be able to bail on Sunday. I will be stuck for hours amidst probably the most fattening and tasty foods known to man. Cheesecakes, yes that is a plural on the cheesecake because in our house we like to have more than one flavor. Not to mention regular cake, chocolate eggs in every corner of the house, fresh home made bread, garlic butter mashed potatoes and gravy.....etc etc....

And all of that comes the day before a weigh in. God help me... I'm already stressed out about it.